HHHHelloooooooooo?!

Is anybody out there?  this place has been so abandoned that I pity the soul that lingers in hopes of a post or something. Ok. enough of this ghost town blog! Gonna clean up the cobwebs and sweep up the dust and gonna post pics and ramble about life once more!

Yes, it has been a while and I could start off where I left off in...ahhh! May?? Summer, fall, halloween, thanksgiving...agh... don't worry, I WILL catch up with those when I have time...you know, that illusive future abundant of free time...

Anywhos, I'll just post a pic of the littles so you can see how much they've grown and a snippets of somethings that happened recently, alright? Baby steps!

Awww.  A picture of Hyrum being sweet to his brother! It's tough sharing the attention with a new bro (when the world revolved around you before then) so moments of kisses and gentleness are rare and very cherished around here!

We haven't had much snow around here, only like two snow falls. I swear our first snow fall it kept coming down for 2 straight days! It was right when all the leaves where turing and the color contrast against the snow was delicousness to the eyes, so pretty!

Ok. I just LOVE this picture! That smile just melts my heart into mushy mush mush. This kid is so bubbly and smiley and laughy, and giggly and tickled with delight by the simplest things, eee, just want to eat him thinking about it.

So, the other day I was rolling out some dough for some pie and I thought it would be fun if I had Hyrum help out. I gave him the rolling pin and showed him how to do it.  I thought this would buy me a minute to tend the baby check the recipe on my computer. When I returned he excitedly said to me, "I'm Making pie!" i had forgot the flour was within reach. He had generously spread it all over the table, his clothes, the flour, everywhere.  I tried not to laugh.

mother of two

I wasn't sure how I would react to having two littles.  The thought of juggling a demanding baby and a busy toddler and keeping up with day to day duties seemed hard for me to wrap my brain around. But then it happened.  I had two little boys under my care. And guess what? I found myself just doing it. It was kinda like not riding a bike for a long time and then hopping on one again and just riding, not thinking about 'how' to ride the bike but just feeling yourself go.

I had done the newborn thing before so it was just a game of keeping up with the toddler man while somehow feeding, changing, rocking another little man with not much thought on the logistics of how I'm exactly pulling this performance off, I just am...somehow.

I like it.  I like having two kids, two little men. In fact, I think I love it. It's a great challenge and I feel like I've embraced a new level of motherhood like never before. I guess had to.   I've learned to let go of a lot of things.  Basically let go of having a clean house, clean clothes, squeaky clean kids, hair or makeup done...all those things tricky to be done with a crying baby and a non-stop toddler.  But seriously, letting go of outrageous expectations for myself,  letting go of trying to keep up with an impossible to do list, of trying to be on top of laundry at all times, of trying to work from home when there are no hours in the day to do so, of an unrealistic ideal of the cleanliness of my house, because of the demands of childrearing giving me no other choice, was actually quite liberating.  

I could focus on what really counted, the kids. But wasn't always about the kids?  Didn't I do all those house things for the kids to begin with?  Maybe not as much as I'd like to think.  I guess I got caught up thinking that if I could just  keep my house clean I could feel satisfied, if I could just get all these things done then I wouldn't feel so stressed. But when I 'let go'  I found myself so content with my little dudes with piles of laundry all around me.  It was a great feeling.  To have so much not done but be so happy still because I was just letting myself enjoy the moment was I awesome. It was such a relief to stop fighting to reach some elusive goal that would somehow make me feel accomplished. 

  I'm not saying keeping up with house work etc isn't important.  Of course it has to be done otherwise the neglect of the task will eventually bring on other stresses but to let it override the sheer enjoyment of motherhood and the bliss of raising the little dude is not so cool.  

I'm also learning that in the end, the greatest thing my kids need the is best me that I can give then.  That means to optimally take care of them, I NEED to take care of myself.  Make sure I'm taking breaks and eating well, staying positive about myself, etc.  If both babies are sleeping and I'm deciding what to do with the time I have to remind myself, "Sariah, taking a nap might just be the most productive thing you can do right now so you can pull through the rest of the day without blowing up at anyone!" A nap can do wonders for EVERYONE. :D When I take care of myself I find that things don't stress me out as much, I have more perspective, and I can deal with things not being in place.  

Its a tough chug being mommy, but one I'm finding more and more worth it and rewarding.

A blessing of a blessing day

Last Sunday we blessed our little angle face.

I wanted to get a picture of Winston in his blessing outfit before he blew out in it. Grandma was not only willing to hold him while I got things ready but tried to get him in a smiley moody...I snapped away and it end up being one of my favorite moments captured! 

You are a blessing from heaven to me my little prince.

tidbits

I take sooo-oo many pictures, it's quite insane.  The sad part is that I hardly do anything with them.  I hardly post them or print them or share them. THey just sit there on my computer.  I often fear that my computer will crash one day and I will loose thousand of memories, or I'll look back and wonder why in the world I took so many random shots. The pictures I take often have some kind or narrative or significance that I intend to write down but I never do it. BUt I'm trying to change that. I've decided that uploading and blogging about it helps document, share, preserve and explain lots of pics, so its going to be at least one thing i'll be doing among other things in my quest to doing more with the pics that are taken around here.  I went through some of my recent shots and I'm going to start just sharing more snippets of life here.  Here it goes:

Hyrum is at that age that I'll suddenly turn and see him do something that he's never been able to do. The other day at the park I saw him cross this playground bridge that he's always seemed too small to do.

Then he successfully climbed up the tallest ladder there when only weeks earlier just stepping onto the bottom rung was completely intimidating. 

When he reached the top he celebrated with jumps and excited yays.  He did this so many times.  

Its awesome to share that excitement with my growing little man.

How did this happen so fast??

This kid almost double his size in two months!  I went to his 2 month appointment yesterday and he's weighing a good 13 lbs and 1oz, ranking 92 percentile. What's funny is that apparently he is less than 5% in height. Do those number just say fat baby to you? No height to justify his weight at all. Hee hee.  "Now, you won't have to put your son on a diet," explains the doctor.  I immediately think, 'hold on, are you saying my baby is fat? '
 Jess is already starting make fun of me saying my baby is looking too big for me.  How in the world does a lady my size grow a child that fat? Love it.

If you leave out some strawberries with a Hyrum nearby

half-hour snowman

The beginning of April in Utah can still mean some wintery fun. A restless toddler, a sleeping newborn and freshly fallen snow that may not appear again until the next winter was a loud call for us to step out side and build us a man of snow.

Hyrum got such a kick out of seeing his snowman come together. He squealed with delight as we added the face and he saw that quintessential snowman face so commonly seen in winter decor. 

"A snowman!"

Whats funny is that only moments after we stepped in, the snowman tall tall tall... totally fell apart. And in the sun it melted small, small, small. It seemed like most the snow disappeared almost instantly. These pics proof that we indeed built a snowman even if it only had a happy half hour long life. I'm glad that we took advantage of that shortlived snow!

Winston's Arrival

On February 18th, 2012 8:43 am our little Winston Arthur Tate joined our Tate gang.  

7 lb 1oz :: 19.3 inches long

He came quite 'Winstontaneously' as his daddy likes to joke.  After all, when we arrived at the hospital, the nurse checked me and knew to act quick and call the doctor since I was already 9 cm dilated.  Less than an hour later I had my sweet dude in my arms.

I had thought only a couple months before that maybe I would try a natural delivery. Or at least see 'how far I could get' to prepare me for when I actually was fully ready and decided for a natural delivery. After all, it was a last minute thought and I hadn't had any classes, no midwife/ doula, no training. All I had was a book and a relaxation cd that a friend gave me that I only halfway read and listened to, I was much too ill-equipped to actually go through with it...

 Guess what?  I ended up having that natural delivery because there wasn't much time for anything else!  

 I was lucky enough to find a breathing technique that worked for me and kept me focused and going to the end.  I know I had it pretty good since my active labor from start to end was only 2.5 hours long with no complications, but I must say it was such an INCREDIBLE experience. 

  There is nothing quite like that rush of bringing a child into the world after such intensity, it was awesome. That excitement of echoed with me for days on end and I still think of it.  

The craziest part is after I delivered, I could not believe that I had just delivered a baby, I was walking around pain-free, I felt normal and more unexpected, I felt so rejuvenated.

I 'm going to admit that when I was pregnant (could be because I hormonal, huge and totally on edge), I did not know if I could handle another little person under my care.  I felt like I was already so frazzled that a newborn and the sleepless nights that come with one would only push me over the edge. 

 It was a pleasant surprise to bring my little Winston into the world and be reminded that babies are a truly gift from Heaven. That little boy filled me with so much peace and joy like I could not believe. He helped heal my turmoiled heart and reminded me of all the wonderful and important things of this life.  I received a renewal of love and energy to care for him and the rest of my family.

I love watching my sweetheart love his babies.  He never misses a chance to burp and cuddle his little Winston man. How did I get so stinkin spoiled to get such a heartmeltin hunk?

Look at us, family of four! 

Thanks sweet little dude! We love having you in our family!  

Christmasy

Wanted to post about our Christmas, finally.  Here are some pics that tell our Christmas Story this year.

I'd like to announce that I actually put some effort into decorating this year and was pleased that it happened.  Davis County kicked off December with a destructive wind storm that left us without power for almost two days and litered our city with branches and pine boughs... which happened to served so lovelily as Christmas decor.  The rest of the stuff I had, made or found at the D.I.

It was a simple way to welcome the Christmas Spirit.  

Hyrum was more of a participant this year. He helped to put the Christmas ornaments up..

Quite excited by the temple square lights

Was way into the that Tate family Christmas party.

Got to meet Santa on a couple occasions. Made sure it was a good workout for Santa.

Ward Christmas Party

Christmas Eve at my Aunt and Uncle's house

Of course, he was much better at the art of opening gifts this year and displaying the sheer excitement parents can't wait to see on Christmas morning.

Daddy readin instructions for his new blu-ray player toy.

He got some of those little hotwheel Cars Movie cars, one of his favorite gifts, he takes them everywhere.

Enjoyed visiting his relatives all Christmas day..

Stopped at Great Grandma Tate and enjoyed her delish peaches.

Went down the ultimate box slide at Grandma and Grandpas

Overall, it was a groovy Christmas filled with family and good memories. 

Christmas Day picture 2011